A neighbor of mine spent 45 years as a paraplegic. The accident happened when she was returning from a beach trip following her high school graduation with distinction. She was on the way to college. Her little sister was in the same van and wasn’t hurt. A church friend lost his only child to drug related suicide and his only granddaughter to a fatal auto accident at the age of 14. Famous people are not exempt. The actor Christopher Reeves, in the prime of his life, took a tumble on a horseback ride, and spent the rest of his life as a quadriplegic. Why is that? Why do such bad things happen to such good people?
It happens to us as well. I’m betting that you, or your brother, or sister or mother or cousin or friend…have been there. When I was sixteen, my wonderful mother went into deep depression. Over the next 18 months, she spent 12 of them in a mental institution. My father lived in denial to get through it all. He coped by diving into his work. Since I was the oldest still at home, I became the head of the household by default. Why is that? What did I do to deserve that? What did my mother do to have to undergo such an experience?
When you see someone at the bottom or you think that maybe you yourself are going there, it’s a very scary place, not just for the one who suffers, but also for the caregiver involved. It will change the way you look at life. It will change the way you live it.
The Bible is full of such stories. Two of the most familiar are about Job in the Old Testament and Paul in the New Testament. Let’s take a few moments to look at these two men, as well as Sarah, Ruth and Barnabus, three of the caregivers in the Bible. Each has a story to tell us about why bad things happen to good people.
First, the Scripture. Several books and part of the Psalms comprise a collection of Old Testament books commonly known as wisdom literature. Prominent among this small collection is the Book of Job, a story of a righteous man upon whom Satan is loosed with God’s consent. Satan visits a series of misfortunes upon Job, any one of which would destroy most people. As Job labors under the strain of devastating loss, from fortune to family to health, he perseveres in his faith. His righteous example is held up for all to see. In Chapter 2, after having already lost virtually everything, he is beset with boils. He scrapes his skin with a flat stone, continually re-opening the wounds. His wife, who has “had it”, challenges him: “Are you still holding on to your integrity?” she asks. And she follows with: “Curse God and die!” Job responds: “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”
In the 12th chapter of Second Corinthians, the great apostle Paul refers to a thorn in his flesh. He says that on three different occasions, he prayed that he would be delivered from this unknown, but terrible, affliction. God’s answer is to rely on His grace; that God’s power is made perfect in weakness. Let’s say that one again. God’s power is made perfect in our weakness.
In the days of the patriarchs, God is described as coming down to earth for occasional visits. On one such occasion, God, apparently accompanied by two angels, comes to see Abraham. He promises that Abraham will be the father of nations. He promises that Sarah will have a son. Sarah, now ninety years old, overhears the conversation and laughs out loud. Indeed, at the birth of their son the next year, the child is named Isaac, which means “laughter.” But the upshot of Abraham’s faith is that Sarah, at ninety years of age, sustains a pregnancy and begins rearing this child promised by God. Abraham gets the fame; Sarah gets the morning sickness, the labor of pregnancy and childbirth. Sarah is one of many caregivers in the Bible.
Ruth is a beautiful but widowed Moabite woman. Naomi, her mother in law, is Jewish. Naomi outlives her sons, ande is forced to return to her homeland of Judah, as she is penniless and must live at the mercy of her family of origin. She releases her daughters in law to remain in Moab , but Ruth protests. She pledges to stay at Naomi’s side, even though it means going to a foreign country. In chapter 1, Ruth utters the words so familiar to us now: “Where you go I will go and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.”
And then there is Barnabus, perhaps my favorite among the Bible’s caregivers. Barnabus traveled with Paul on their first missionary journey. Embarking from Antioch , they went to the island of Cyprus and on to the province of Galatia . A young John Mark accompanied them, but left them in Perga to return home for reasons we do not know. The always opinionated Paul was not happy about this turn of events. Upon their return, Paul and Barnabus went to Jerusalem to make their case to the Church leaders there. Paul needed Barnabus, who was highly respected, to help make their case, as Paul’s credibility in Jerusalem was not yet sufficient. Paul and Barnabus got the recognition and approval they sought. Yet on the next missionary journey, Paul dismissed Barnabus because Barnabus wanted John Mark to go with them again. So they went their separate ways.
Why do bad things happen to good people? How can some people continue to give and give, facing nothing but thankless praise, empty promises or rejection from the very persons to whom they bring care? Why does God put you in a place where you have some control over your life and then uproot you to start over somewhere else with something or someone entirely different? You’re not going to get the final answer to any of these questions today, but maybe you will get some amplification on the subject that will help you grapple with these age old questions.
Paul says “there was given me a thorn in the flesh,” implying that God is the giving agent. He describes his affliction as “a messenger of Satan to torment” him. This is not unlike what God allowed to happen to Job. Whether God sends the problem or just doesn’t stop Satan from his delivery, we don’t always know. Sometimes I think our Creator just picks righteous men and women from our midst and holds them up as examples to the rest of us. At the end of the day, it is the learning, the spiritual maturity and the trust that counts, not whether the event is God inspired or Satan sent. Regardless of the origin, the outcome for the believer is ultimately the illumination of God’s power and grace. From each experience, our trust in God grows. As Paul says, take delight in the hardships, for when you are weak, you are made strong through God’s grace.
“Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” asks Job. My neighbor would say you have to accept both. In an adult life lived as a paraplegic, she learned to do tax returns and worked from home, volunteered regularly at the hospital, drove a car and still remained a caregiver to her aging parents. She died not too long ago after a life of giving and caring for others. She would not describe herself as handicapped.
“Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” My church friend would say you should accept both. With God’s help, he has risen above family tragedy. He says humbly that the death of his granddaughter at such a young age has probably had more influence on her peers than her life may have had. Even now, young men and women flock to a website to remember her and to remark how they have been touched in some positive way by an encounter with her. My friend works faithfully to cook meals for church events and knows God more personally and deeply than ever before.
Christopher and Dana Reeves would say we must accept both. Christopher ultimately died as a result of his severed spinal cord, and Dana from lung cancer though she had not smoked for years. But after Reeve’s injury, those two set the world on fire with their achievements in the field of spinal cord injuries. Even now, the foundation they started continues to raise money and awareness to sponsor medical research in that field.
“Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” Look at the lives of Job and Sarah, Ruth and Barnabus. Nations have sprung from that one seed that Sarah bore. As surely as Abraham is the father of those nations, so Sarah is the mother. You know the rest of Ruth’s story. She journeys to Judah , works in the fields, meets and ultimately marries Boaz. Naomi is provided for and Ruth becomes one of the matriarchs in the genealogy of Jesus. And what about Barnabus? At the end of Paul’s life, it is faithful Barnabus who is there with Paul giving him aid and comfort. I get the feeling that Barnabus was always there for Paul, even though Paul was often so intense that he didn’t realize all that Barnabus meant to him and his ministry.
“Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” asks Job. It is a question for each of us to answer in our own hearts. I can tell you this from personal experience. I have learned that I need all that God sends. That time I spent as a teenager with a mentally ill mother is still hard for me to talk about. It was sometimes embarrassing, always lonely, often just plain scary. But church friends and one high school teacher found me, checked on me, put their arms around me, and I found meaning in the saying that “it takes a village to raise a child” I began to experience God’s grace at work in me.
Years later, other events were to come my way that would make that time pale in comparison, and I was destined to learn in a very personal way that God does not move. It is we who are like the tide, ever ebbing and flowing. We are the ones that move. Sometimes, as in Paul’s case, a “thorn” comes along and can help prevent spiritual conceit. Sometimes, God will vaccinate us with a misfortune or misstep in order to immunize us from a future and otherwise paralyzing blow. And sometimes, I think, God will use us precisely because of the good we can do others by remaining people of faith through trials and adversity.
For 33 years, He walked among us. He ate our food, drank our wine, toiled and labored under the same sun. For 3 years, He told us who He was and why He had come. He never sinned. He did good to everyone with whom He came in contact. One fateful night, He went into a garden and prayed, and He prayed the same prayer you and I have prayed before. Deliver me, He prayed. Don’t make me go there. But in the end, he prayed one more line, “Not my will, but thy will be done,” He said. Less than twenty four hours later, they took His speared and spent body down from a Calvary cross and handed it over to a few broken hearted women for burial. They collected His body, but they could not break the immortal seal of His soul, for He was already atoning for the sins of all for all time. It was the ransom that bought and paid for you and me. And the gates of Hell could not hold Him. He rose and he lives today and forever.
Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble? Jesus is our model. He came for trouble. He asked for trouble. And when trouble sought and found Him, He did what you and I must do today. He placed Himself squarely in the hands of God and said, “Thy will be done.” What followed changed the course of history.
So when Satan decides you’re looking a little too close to God and throws temptation in your way, or when God decides to work on your character or just to use you to testify for Him through your life, let it come. God may test you, but He will never tempt you. Satan may send the curse, but it is the caress of God Himself that you will ultimately experience. It won’t be easy, and you will shed some tears. But God will not send more to you than you can bear, and He will remain right at your side. God’s overarching providence always produces good, even from evil.
It has been said that God is not nearly so concerned with our comfort as He is with our character. Character is not a DNA thing. You aren’t born with it. You have to earn your stripes. Good character is most often forged in the fire of adversity and hammered into shape in the hands of experience. In the process, and in our weakness, God’s awesome power and love can be reflected in the likeness that emerges. And what an awesome reflection that can be. You just won’t believe how strong and beautiful that reflection might become.